I am truly amazed that God could ever love me. When I look into the Word, I see a reflection of myself that is never appealing. Sure I can come up with all kinds of excuses for my walk or sometimes lack there of. I am real good at making excuses, sometimes way too good. Bottom line, I am a sinner. That is what I am perfect at. Never has a day ever gone by that I can say I never sinned in. I can't say that about many things at all, but I can surely say it about sin. Yet God, in spite of all my millions of short comings chooses to love me and give a million more chances to start over. That's a disgustful loving God. A God who knows the object of his love is going to mess up day in and day out. A God who knows I will choose the wrong things time and time again. A God who knows I will never be 100% faithful to Him on this side of eternity. I can learn a lot from what I just wrote. I will always be unfaithful in many ways, yet the Holy One will always be faithful. I am reminded of a few passages this morning, Isaiah 64:6 that "all our righteousness is filthy rags before God." Not just some of our good qualities, but every one of them is rotten to the core. Romans 3:23, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," there is no one who has ever lived who does not deserve hell, we all do, even my amazing little boys that I love so much. We are sinners who will always continue to fall short. The words fall short in the Greek refer to coming in last. When put up to God we will always come in last.
Well, with this said does it mean we continue to embrace our excuses and not run after God with everything we have. As Paul says, may it never be the case. It is easy to exchange the amazing life God has for you for a life of excuses. A life that says I am human, I screw up just like everyone else. We can easily become content in our sin, but this is the last thing the Disgustful Loving God wants from us. He wants us to run to Him, to flee our sin and trust more and more in His mercy and grace.
Over the past weeks, I have been slowly reading through John Baker's Life's Healing Choices. God has ministered to me greatly through this read. Helping me to take off the mask that I love to wear and showing me there is freedom from sin, especially those sins that we never thought were escapable. John Baker is the one who started Celebrate Recovery. A ministry that I am seeing more and more need for in the church. Oh how we all need Recovery, especially us who are called ministers. How could we ever stand up infront of God's people and speak of freedom and forgiveness, when many of us never have truly expereinced it ourselves. Oh God I pray that you would continue to mold me, continue to show me your plan, and help me to be faithful to your calling. Show me the way out of my miserable life of excuses and into the life of your freedom. God thank you for loving me, the disgustful man I am.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
On the Verge of...God?
For the past several weeks, God has been drawing me nearer to Him. I really can't help but feel that God is preparing me for something, like I'm on the verge of something BIG! Now for some believers that might be an exciteing place to be, but for me, I have to admit I'm scared. I'm scared because I know that my life is changing, God is at work, and He's making the changes that are way over due. I started thinking about Moses at the burning bush, He had to be scared to death! Well, so am I, I can't help but think He is about to ask me to do something that I probably don't want to do just like Moses. I also think of Christ, He didn't want to go to the cross, but God sent Him there, and thank God He obeyed.
My wife ran into a verse last week, that she put up on our dry erase board at home, its Isa. 30:21
"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."
God please show me the way, and help me to walk in it!
My wife ran into a verse last week, that she put up on our dry erase board at home, its Isa. 30:21
"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."
God please show me the way, and help me to walk in it!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
25 Random Things About ME!
1) I love God more now than I ever had, I now see that my life has absolutely no point without Him in the center of my life.
2) I am absolutely head over heals for my wife and boys, they are the most precious gifts God has ever given me.
3) Being married and having kids is the best education on life (wow, I never knew I was so selfish until God gave me a family!)
4) I am way too passionate about Kentucky basketball, I think I scare my wife sometimes when I get excited, but my boys love it!
5) I'm getting old, I know this because I listen to the AM more than the FM in the car, there is nothing like talk radio! ( Man I'm cool!)
6) I love playing my guitar and wish I had more time just to be alone and play.
7) Coffee, Coffee, Coffee...its my drug of choice.
8) I once lived in a mud hut in Africa about 400 miles from any form of electricity, and there are a lot of days that I miss it.
9) Adoption is the most amazing thing in the world. You should try it. But be warned, its also the hardest thing I have ever done.
10) I call myself the male Oprah, not because I agree with her, but because, sometimes you see me and I'm fat, and other times I'm skinny.
11) My grandfather was the coolest man that ever lived. If you never knew him, you missed out. He was a trip.
12) I once ran over a monkey in my car, and was excited about it.
13) My wife was my first girlfriend, first hand hold, first kiss, first everything, and I love that! Oh, and by the way, I was my wife's first boyfriend, hand hold, and kiss too.
14) I do not have cable or satelite... one of the best decision my wife and I ever made. We no longer are tempted to do nothing and just watch tv.
15) My wife and I share a cell phone, and crazily there are only a very few times, when I wished we both had one.
16) I love being a youth pastor/minister/dude. I have some incredible students that I love being around.
17) I'd rather go the mountains over the beach anyday (infact, I really don't like the beach), but for some reason, I keep ending up living on the coast (Indian Ocean, and now Atlantic).
18) i prefer my Mac over my work PC
19) I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.
20) I used to want a dog, but now we have a neighborhood dog that likes to poop in my yard, and somehow, poop always ends up on the bottom of one our shoes...now I just want a shot gun.
21) I've noticed that the volume of men drooling over plasma and flat screen tvs at best buy has died down a lot, infact I feel like I am the only one that's there, probably because I'm the only one who still doesn't have one :(
22) I really like to read, Never thought I'd say that one!
23) I hate talking on the phone, that God for texting.
24) I wish I learned to a be a cheerful giver at a younger age... I really missed out on some incredible blessings.
25) I can't wait till my boys are old enough to mow the yard... I will gladly give that one up!
2) I am absolutely head over heals for my wife and boys, they are the most precious gifts God has ever given me.
3) Being married and having kids is the best education on life (wow, I never knew I was so selfish until God gave me a family!)
4) I am way too passionate about Kentucky basketball, I think I scare my wife sometimes when I get excited, but my boys love it!
5) I'm getting old, I know this because I listen to the AM more than the FM in the car, there is nothing like talk radio! ( Man I'm cool!)
6) I love playing my guitar and wish I had more time just to be alone and play.
7) Coffee, Coffee, Coffee...its my drug of choice.
8) I once lived in a mud hut in Africa about 400 miles from any form of electricity, and there are a lot of days that I miss it.
9) Adoption is the most amazing thing in the world. You should try it. But be warned, its also the hardest thing I have ever done.
10) I call myself the male Oprah, not because I agree with her, but because, sometimes you see me and I'm fat, and other times I'm skinny.
11) My grandfather was the coolest man that ever lived. If you never knew him, you missed out. He was a trip.
12) I once ran over a monkey in my car, and was excited about it.
13) My wife was my first girlfriend, first hand hold, first kiss, first everything, and I love that! Oh, and by the way, I was my wife's first boyfriend, hand hold, and kiss too.
14) I do not have cable or satelite... one of the best decision my wife and I ever made. We no longer are tempted to do nothing and just watch tv.
15) My wife and I share a cell phone, and crazily there are only a very few times, when I wished we both had one.
16) I love being a youth pastor/minister/dude. I have some incredible students that I love being around.
17) I'd rather go the mountains over the beach anyday (infact, I really don't like the beach), but for some reason, I keep ending up living on the coast (Indian Ocean, and now Atlantic).
18) i prefer my Mac over my work PC
19) I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.
20) I used to want a dog, but now we have a neighborhood dog that likes to poop in my yard, and somehow, poop always ends up on the bottom of one our shoes...now I just want a shot gun.
21) I've noticed that the volume of men drooling over plasma and flat screen tvs at best buy has died down a lot, infact I feel like I am the only one that's there, probably because I'm the only one who still doesn't have one :(
22) I really like to read, Never thought I'd say that one!
23) I hate talking on the phone, that God for texting.
24) I wish I learned to a be a cheerful giver at a younger age... I really missed out on some incredible blessings.
25) I can't wait till my boys are old enough to mow the yard... I will gladly give that one up!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Keep Searching...
"When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." Jeremiah 29:12-13 (the Message)
This week has been crazy, I really don't know how to put it other than that. Yesterday, I had only one thing on my plate, to make sure we can get the Super Bowl played in "the Refuge," our youth room, for our youth Super Bowl party Sunday. That's kind of hard when you don't have cable or satellite. Well, neither do we, my wife and I got unplugged from cable and satellite about a year ago, and that's been a blessing, however, I can't write about that here, I'll talk about that one later. What my wife and I do have is an antenna and a digital TV box. We get about 20 channels, but only about 5 worth watching, however, one of those channels is what the Super Bowl is on, so I simply unplugged everything at the house and brought it up to the church, thinking, plug it all up just the same and it will work, WRONG! I took the antenna up on the roof, and we got 20 channels just no NBC (Super Bowl Channel). So I moved the blooming antenna all over the church grounds trying to find an NBC signal. I was about to lose hope, when all the sudden, as I was walking around outside, holding the antenna box up with a 7 foot stick over my head, I heard it connect. I was so excited, I had found it. There it was NBC coming in pretty clear. So I leaned the stick and antenna up against the church building to go get something to mark the spot with. While I was inside the wind blew it down, at first I thought no problem just pick it back up, so I did, the same spot, the same everything, but no signal. I still have no clue what happened. So, I searched for another hour, that would make almost 3 hours, I had been searching. So, with no luck, I finally gave up, and I was walking around with the antenna to take it inside. I was really frustrated, and really didn't understand, why it didn't work. I had no idea what I was going to do, I have all these teenagers coming to watch the game, but there was no way to watch it. So, as I got to the window to put it back inside, I lowered the stick down to take the antenna off, when all the sudden, with the antenna at my waist, NBC came on the TV. I had found it, after searching crazily for hours, walking on the roof, walking around the building with a stick and an antenna box, I had finally found it.
You know there were several moments, I thought about giving up, and calling for help, but I was to prideful. I'm all man at times, what can I say? But after searching long and hard I found it. The scriptures tell us if we search for God with all our heart, wanting Him more than anything else, we will not be disappointed for we will find God. So often I think we just expect God to be there, we expect God to do things for us, but there are times when all the sudden, God seems distant, He seems so far away from you. And so often this is not because God took His eyes off us, but because we took our eyes off Him. God forgive us for that! The Father says, pray and look, look with everything you got and you will find me. I will be behind the scenes of your life, bringing it all together as only I can. He may seem absent, but He's not. He promises us that He is with us, even till the end of the age.
This week has been crazy, I really don't know how to put it other than that. Yesterday, I had only one thing on my plate, to make sure we can get the Super Bowl played in "the Refuge," our youth room, for our youth Super Bowl party Sunday. That's kind of hard when you don't have cable or satellite. Well, neither do we, my wife and I got unplugged from cable and satellite about a year ago, and that's been a blessing, however, I can't write about that here, I'll talk about that one later. What my wife and I do have is an antenna and a digital TV box. We get about 20 channels, but only about 5 worth watching, however, one of those channels is what the Super Bowl is on, so I simply unplugged everything at the house and brought it up to the church, thinking, plug it all up just the same and it will work, WRONG! I took the antenna up on the roof, and we got 20 channels just no NBC (Super Bowl Channel). So I moved the blooming antenna all over the church grounds trying to find an NBC signal. I was about to lose hope, when all the sudden, as I was walking around outside, holding the antenna box up with a 7 foot stick over my head, I heard it connect. I was so excited, I had found it. There it was NBC coming in pretty clear. So I leaned the stick and antenna up against the church building to go get something to mark the spot with. While I was inside the wind blew it down, at first I thought no problem just pick it back up, so I did, the same spot, the same everything, but no signal. I still have no clue what happened. So, I searched for another hour, that would make almost 3 hours, I had been searching. So, with no luck, I finally gave up, and I was walking around with the antenna to take it inside. I was really frustrated, and really didn't understand, why it didn't work. I had no idea what I was going to do, I have all these teenagers coming to watch the game, but there was no way to watch it. So, as I got to the window to put it back inside, I lowered the stick down to take the antenna off, when all the sudden, with the antenna at my waist, NBC came on the TV. I had found it, after searching crazily for hours, walking on the roof, walking around the building with a stick and an antenna box, I had finally found it.
You know there were several moments, I thought about giving up, and calling for help, but I was to prideful. I'm all man at times, what can I say? But after searching long and hard I found it. The scriptures tell us if we search for God with all our heart, wanting Him more than anything else, we will not be disappointed for we will find God. So often I think we just expect God to be there, we expect God to do things for us, but there are times when all the sudden, God seems distant, He seems so far away from you. And so often this is not because God took His eyes off us, but because we took our eyes off Him. God forgive us for that! The Father says, pray and look, look with everything you got and you will find me. I will be behind the scenes of your life, bringing it all together as only I can. He may seem absent, but He's not. He promises us that He is with us, even till the end of the age.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Looking for Yourself?
I had another moment in my Bible reading the other day that just made think about life differently. I came across a familiar verse in the book of Matthew. Verses 38-39 say..."And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it." Every morning, I read from the Message, its a modern day translation of the Bible, that helps me just to grasp the meaning a little better, it renders these verses as "If you don't go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don't deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, you'll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me." As you can see it puts a little twist to it, but the integrity of message is still there, and for me, it takes these familiar verses and helps me to think outside the box on what Jesus might have for me.
I do have several friends that try to find themselves, they try to find meaning to their lives outside the realm of God. I will also admit that I have too, I have tried to find meaning to my life from a lot of different angles. But only one works. You have to view life from the advantage point of the Creator God. God created us all, don't believe me, read Psalm 139, and He created us for a purpose. He longs for us to live for Him and point others to Him. To be obedient to what He has called us to in His scriptures. The Message nails an awesome thought, if your number one concern is you, who you are, your identity, you will get very frustrated trying to find yourself. Why, because you are forever changing. The world is forever changing, therefore you, as part of that world will change. But, if you are a believer, the scripture says, that you are not of this world. Does that mean we are not to change? Absolutely not, we are to constantly be changing ourselves into a sharper image of Christ, the big word for that is sanctification. However, we do not change directions, we are always moving forward not backwards or just being stagnant.
The Message continues to say "But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me." There it is, the secret to happiness. There it is, the secret to life. Just look to God. When we look to God, He reveals to us the path we are to follow. Proverbs 3:5-6 says...
"Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track."
I love that, and it is so true, seek out God and you will find Him (Jer. 29:13). And God will also take you on a journey in which He will reveal to you exactly who you are, and why you are here on this earth?
I do have several friends that try to find themselves, they try to find meaning to their lives outside the realm of God. I will also admit that I have too, I have tried to find meaning to my life from a lot of different angles. But only one works. You have to view life from the advantage point of the Creator God. God created us all, don't believe me, read Psalm 139, and He created us for a purpose. He longs for us to live for Him and point others to Him. To be obedient to what He has called us to in His scriptures. The Message nails an awesome thought, if your number one concern is you, who you are, your identity, you will get very frustrated trying to find yourself. Why, because you are forever changing. The world is forever changing, therefore you, as part of that world will change. But, if you are a believer, the scripture says, that you are not of this world. Does that mean we are not to change? Absolutely not, we are to constantly be changing ourselves into a sharper image of Christ, the big word for that is sanctification. However, we do not change directions, we are always moving forward not backwards or just being stagnant.
The Message continues to say "But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you'll find both yourself and me." There it is, the secret to happiness. There it is, the secret to life. Just look to God. When we look to God, He reveals to us the path we are to follow. Proverbs 3:5-6 says...
"Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track."
I love that, and it is so true, seek out God and you will find Him (Jer. 29:13). And God will also take you on a journey in which He will reveal to you exactly who you are, and why you are here on this earth?
Friday, January 23, 2009
Lessons From Being Dad
I love being a Dad. Its a lot of fun, but its also the greatest challenge I have ever faced. To think Biblically about my role as Elijah and Cooper's father, means that I have an example. God is the Ultimate Father, and He set the standard. I once had a seminary professor, who challenged me to think of it in a new light. He said something like, "you being the father in the home, will be the clearest picture a young child can have of God." Wow, that's a heavy thought. I can remember growing up in a divorced home, and there would be months in which I didn't hear from my dad. I can truly remember talking about God in my home, yet He seemed so distant like my dad. I don't want my kids to ever go through that. I want to be there for my kids when they need me, and when they don't.
Over the last several weeks, Elijah, my soon to be a big three year old, has not been sleeping well. He's had a cough and has just been a little restless, especially around 3am. Last week, Elijah came into my room around 3 and said, "daddy come to my bed." I was out of it, but somehow made it into Elijah's room and climbed into his bed. At first, I admit, this was the last place I wanted to be. I wanted to sleep, and Elijah was tired, but just couldn't get asleep. So, I'm laying there, thinking, hurry up kid... please go to sleep. About that time Elijah turned and looked me in the eye, he was obviously tired, his eyes were half closed, and in that moment where he was looking in my eyes he said four words that changed everything. Elijah whispered in a serious voice, "Dad, I love you." It melted my heart, there was no other place I wanted to be. I just wanted to be there and hold my son. It was such an incredible moment that just made me feel amazing. And as I sat there and held my son, my mind went back to the seminary professor, who said, I'd be the clearest picture my children will ever have of God, and instead of thinking, "man... I'm good," I was humbled. I was humbled, because I knew for the first time, what God feels when one of His children just stops and becomes still in his presence and says, "Father, I love You." And also, I knew it had been way to long since the last time, I just sat back and let God be Father, and tell him how much I truly loved Him.
Over the last several weeks, Elijah, my soon to be a big three year old, has not been sleeping well. He's had a cough and has just been a little restless, especially around 3am. Last week, Elijah came into my room around 3 and said, "daddy come to my bed." I was out of it, but somehow made it into Elijah's room and climbed into his bed. At first, I admit, this was the last place I wanted to be. I wanted to sleep, and Elijah was tired, but just couldn't get asleep. So, I'm laying there, thinking, hurry up kid... please go to sleep. About that time Elijah turned and looked me in the eye, he was obviously tired, his eyes were half closed, and in that moment where he was looking in my eyes he said four words that changed everything. Elijah whispered in a serious voice, "Dad, I love you." It melted my heart, there was no other place I wanted to be. I just wanted to be there and hold my son. It was such an incredible moment that just made me feel amazing. And as I sat there and held my son, my mind went back to the seminary professor, who said, I'd be the clearest picture my children will ever have of God, and instead of thinking, "man... I'm good," I was humbled. I was humbled, because I knew for the first time, what God feels when one of His children just stops and becomes still in his presence and says, "Father, I love You." And also, I knew it had been way to long since the last time, I just sat back and let God be Father, and tell him how much I truly loved Him.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Treasuring the Word
"You're blessed when you stay on course,
walking steadily on the road revealed by God.
You're blessed when you follow his directions,
doing your best to find him.
That's right—you don't go off on your own;
you walk straight along the road he set.
You, God, prescribed the right way to live;
now You expect us to live it." Psalm 119:1-4 (the Message)
One of my favorite chapters in the Bible is Psalm 119. It is a huge chapter that is all about God's Word and the blessings that come from treasuring it in your heart. I think I could chew on these four verse all day long. I look at the first thought here and think, true, I am happy and blessed when I stay the course that God gives us. The course that he give us through trusting and leaning on Him (Prov. 3:5-6) It is a power thought how he says "walking steadily on the road revealed by God." I had to do some research on what he is saying here to get the full impact of this verse. The psalmist is talking about an habitual pattern of living. The word "steadily" refers to being firmly fixed, in regular rhythm, free from change or variation. You know so often I can honestly not describe my life like that. I o my best to walk with God, but often, I question the path He lays out and try to change directions or make a small variation in what I know He wants me to do. And its true when I do this, the happiness seems to be squeezed out of life. God simply asks us to "walk straight" with Him, to not live outside the boundaries that He has set for us in the Word. Well, how are we to live this way. Its simple its obedience, which can only easily be done, when we treasure His Word in our heart. The psalmist knew the blessing that came from walking with God because He treasured the Word. He loved to spend time in it and meditate on it. This is the key to obedience and the blessing and happiness that only God can give. Simply: Treasure God and His Word.
walking steadily on the road revealed by God.
You're blessed when you follow his directions,
doing your best to find him.
That's right—you don't go off on your own;
you walk straight along the road he set.
You, God, prescribed the right way to live;
now You expect us to live it." Psalm 119:1-4 (the Message)
One of my favorite chapters in the Bible is Psalm 119. It is a huge chapter that is all about God's Word and the blessings that come from treasuring it in your heart. I think I could chew on these four verse all day long. I look at the first thought here and think, true, I am happy and blessed when I stay the course that God gives us. The course that he give us through trusting and leaning on Him (Prov. 3:5-6) It is a power thought how he says "walking steadily on the road revealed by God." I had to do some research on what he is saying here to get the full impact of this verse. The psalmist is talking about an habitual pattern of living. The word "steadily" refers to being firmly fixed, in regular rhythm, free from change or variation. You know so often I can honestly not describe my life like that. I o my best to walk with God, but often, I question the path He lays out and try to change directions or make a small variation in what I know He wants me to do. And its true when I do this, the happiness seems to be squeezed out of life. God simply asks us to "walk straight" with Him, to not live outside the boundaries that He has set for us in the Word. Well, how are we to live this way. Its simple its obedience, which can only easily be done, when we treasure His Word in our heart. The psalmist knew the blessing that came from walking with God because He treasured the Word. He loved to spend time in it and meditate on it. This is the key to obedience and the blessing and happiness that only God can give. Simply: Treasure God and His Word.
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